Written in the stars, million miles away

HAI GUISE.

I am still feeling guilty about partial-ing today's class.

I was late, and I partial-ed.

Anywayzx, I guess my dieting plans totally fail. Cause I drank Frappuccino from Starbucks today with whipped cream, and worse with caramel.

One word to describe, 'FATTENING'.

:'(

I'm so fucked right now cause my skin condition is going down slope, since school reopens. #FML.

Still remember when working @Fremantle, my skin is (Y) one lor. Even though my sleeping time is always irregular.

Speaking bout Fremantle, I kinda miss the people I worked with, the dramas and those shit people giving me, those guys who were uber nice to help me out without fail, party animal + sexy angmohs (& some pervy ones), my flings, and free flow of LEMONS from dinesh!

GOD. Missing so much things right now. But I guess a lot of things have changed over there. My flings all ain't working there anymore, where's the fun man?

And I really dislike my jobscope. Seriously~ ME?! Being a hostress? 

DISLIKE. DISLIKE. DISLIKE. DISLIKE. DISLIKE. DISLIKE. DISLIKE. DISLIKE. DISLIKE.

But I hate being waitress even more. Tyvm.

So in the end, I rather end that fun job and stuck my fucking fat ass up to my current job, just mainly for cash & my BFF. No more. Though it used to have another factor why I wanna stay, but now since it's officially 'no more', I'm only left with 2.

Seriously if anything happened, I guess I'm ready to leave anytime. 

I WANNA WATCH HORROR MOVIES!!

LIN LAO HIA.

!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*

All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go
Cause this pain I feel it won't go away
And today, I'M OFFICIALLY MISSING YOU

Every time I look into your eyes, you make me wanna die

Smiling is too overrated.

Step out of the boring frame and be someone you don't know. ♥

-

Sickness is getting into my bones and by the time in July, I would be visiting the hospital much often. Doing body scanning, surgeries; yada yada. Had no choice but to skip school on those days.

I'm feeling damn guilty for being late everyday for school.

I hate myself for growing fatter and prolly that's why strangers keep touching my fat arse.

Shall start dieting & reaching school on time on next Monday!

I've got no idea if it's gonna work, but... never try never know.

-

"What would you do if you only have one day to live?"

Seriously, I've never thought about this before ever in my life. Never.

This question really makes me think further. What should I do if my life is ending soon.

• In the morning, I would wake up damn frigging early, bring my parents out for breakfast. Talk a walk in the garden afterwards.
• Spend some time alone, sitting in an European style coffee house, drinking a cup of classic tea listening to some love song.
• Head out with Nikon camera to a garden and snap some memories, by myself in the afternoon. Wearing a maxi and with a big bright yellow sun hat.
• Picnic-ing with my beloved sisters. (What can I say? I really love picnics.) Reminiscing everything bout the memories we'd made together. Dancing around with some awesome music. Take awesome photos, hoping that they'll remember me always.
• Head out for high tea with BFFs. Enjoy a cup of floral scented tea, eating some awesome pastries like macrons! Taking photos together.
• Do something romantic with my boyfriend. (Let's say I have one -.-) Like.. erm. Watching sunset together after cycling. But he'll need to teach me first. Heh. I suck @ sports or sports-related stuff. Tell him how much I love him, and make him promise me that he'll move on and not to cry.
• Have early dinner with my parents & grand father. I shall cook! Okay, not a good idea though. Maybe I can help out? I will do the washing! &Lastly, take a last family photo.
• Drinking + Smoking with a bunch of friends. Since I'm dying, who cares about health?
• Go club. Have threesome.

Okay, I was just kidding bout the last part. Maybe.

LOL.

It's my last day on earth, so why not try something outrageous before I die? Maybe it's a bit extreme.

Oh well.

I know, I've just made this post as though I'm dying soon.

NO! I'm still alive & kickin'! Suck on your thumb bitches~!

PEACE OUT. ♥

Taking double takes in life

If you still do not know my dear, yes I've changed my hairstyle and the hair color.

But FML, it seems like the change of the color didn't change much/ have much difference. I felt as though I was cheated, or something.

And god! Hair stylists really love to cut 'bangs' for me when it doesn't fit my face shape.

Oh well. I was the one who told her to go as she wish. (That's not a brilliant idea at all.)

So in the end, my hair didn't end up as what I expected, like always.

Have you realized that in both pictures above, Siqi's expression never change? :D

Alright.. I guess I will dye my hair again one day. Just you wait, HAIR! Y U so troublesome!?
I'm gonna whip my hair back & forth. I whip my hair back & forth.
I'm getting eggcited with those upcoming plans I'm having with my loved ones.
Awesomezx. :D

"Do I look fat in this dress?" HELL YEAH YOU DO!

Went out early in the morn with ah kay today to dye our hair + cut it.

Seriously need a haircut cause my fringe is so fucking irritating.

So yeah, she's late! & I went to the wrong place, thinking that I came to the right place. -.-

This is still my original hairstyle. I've no idea what color is this, seriously.

It's supposed to be brown, but it looks like lil reddish sometimes. And when you see the photos, it looks like orange under the damn light.

 Anyway, just look at how kiddy I was wearing. Hint hint* That day I went to film.

LOLZX~

I was afraid that some pedophiles will stalk me on my way home from twinnie's.

So yeah, I am supposed to look like a nerd, and I think I manage to achieve that.

Show ya'all another time. I'm still thinking of a way to 'kope' the photos from facebook.

I've got no idea how you save photos from there. Zzzz.

Aiya, me very tired right nowzx.

Shall update again tomorrow or something.

Really had fun today. :)

ENJOYED.

I AM AT LEGAL AGE NOW ;D

If you do not know yet, I am 18 right now already! Like finally.

But to be honest, it doesn't feel like there's any difference at all. -.- I'm being serious.

There ain't any party; like how others do. There ain't any eating out from a whole cake. But it doesn't matter, because I'd friends & my parents who celebrated with me. :)

A huge thank-you to all those who'd find a day/time to celebrate with me.

It made my 18th Birthday less lonely.

& Thanks to everyone else who wished me, as well as spammed my phone that day.

You guys are awesome! \m/

I am 18 now ;) 

Awesomezx. Heh ♥

I can go drinking, clubbing, buying cigarettes, watch M18 movies now.

I'll whip my hair back and forth, rocking to the music

Cause when good girls turn bad

You'll only end up blaming themselves

I'm not sure if I'm a good girl, or a girl that's pretending to be good.

Yes, I don't smoke, I don't club, I don't steal etc. But I'm not sure how's the measurements are like, ya know?

I know there are some bitches out there who are badmouthing me, saying that I'm a flirt and so on. But, do you know me enough to say that? Seriously, bitches! Get a life.

True enough that sometimes whatever I wanna do makes people think that I've changed- to a chao-ah-lian or whatever shitzx. Especially with my bad temper and low tolerance.

There are many things that I yearn to do, yet I can never do it.

Because of people's expectations of me. They expect me to be a good girl, and not do things like this. Good example; make up. People urge me to stop loading make up on myself because they stereotype that chao-ah-lian do their make ups like how I am doing.

Coming back to what I really wanna blog about! :-)

These are things that I wanna learn/do but however I couldn't because of your expectations and stereotyping.

#1: Skateboarding

Really wanna learn how to skateboard. I find it way cool, and it's like.. awesome.

#2: Tongue Piercing

Goddamn this! I freaking want this so badly ever since secondary school.

But I couldn't do it, because people don't let me.

"Spoil image", "Chao-ah-lian" and so on.

I even thought of what studs I wanna have when I pierce it.

Sick!

#3: Crazily-done hair style/highlights

Really as crazy as these kind; don't you think it's sorta pretty?

Who bloody cares if it doesn't freaking suits me?! It's just freaking cool to have highlights like these. But I am not allowed to do so.

#4: Clubbing every week

Socialize, I call that. Or just simply having fun with a group of close friends where you guys dance, get wasted and spend the whole time together afterwards.

Till now, I have curfew; more like I need/expected to reach home before 11pm.

What?! I am 18 in just 2 more days.

But most prolly I won't club as much because I prefer just drinking.

#5: Tattoo

I freaking love tattoos recently, not all types though.

I especially love those at collar bones, I find them freaking amazing and cool.

If I am allowed to get a tattoo, I might get something like this.. or just meaningful words on my collar bone.

It's a piece of art okay?

#6: Smoking

Recently keep having the urge to try out smoking.

Especially when I got hold onto my lighter, it's like being cursed.

If I am able to get cigarettes that are in pink color like the above, I will definitely smoke one.

No joke.

&Can you see what's written on the cigarette box?! It says "Rose flavor"!!!

Whereas the black colored cigarette box says "Chocolate flavor"!

-

Though these are some of what I am yearning for, these are also some things that I am not allowed to do so. And sadly enough, I am someone who listens to what people expects me to do.

I am not trying to be a bitch/chao-ah-lian, trust me. :-)

Forever buying on impulse

That practically describes what kinda person I am, seriously no joke.

It sucks to be me. FML big time.

-

Okay, so I was late as usual to meet up with Twinnie today.

We went shopping together! I LOVE SHOPPING, YAY! ;D

Couldn't find any chio high-waisted shorts I wanted, couldn't get any big handbags, couldn't find my heels.. ;( And in the end, I bought things that are never on my so-called 'shopping list'.

BUYING ON IMPULSE; That's what I called it. Cause just after a few seconds/minutes, I will regret buying it. Seriously.

Me likka no life.

After the sequel of buying the most expensive shorts $50++ ever in my lifetime, I bought the most expensive top ever! $49 flew away from me.

"Noooo~ Why did I buy it?!"

Okay, then I wasted my money on accessories simply because it was cheap, but I ended up buying 6 of them. :(

Bought 4 rings, and 2 earrings.

Show-off a bit here and a bit there~

Oh, did I mentioned I bought another top as well? Gawd, I think these few days I need to eat maggie or bread to survive already. I just got my pay less than a week!

I am really like spamming photos. -.-

Anyway, now I am feeling damn regret already. Do you read me?! ;(

Shopaholic + Crazy = GG (Too many regrets in your life.)

• Tomorrow going to uss
• Sunday going watch movie

There goes all my money. Cheers to own self, bitch!

I hope I don't give birth to children like myself. I believe I will kill them with my own bare hands. Okay, kidding bout the last part.

Kthnxbai, I am hungry for some meat bitch!

Heh~ I'mma still an unicorn!

Greetings all breathing humans who're still alive. Ok, lame. HAI GAISE! \m/

Someone recently asked me bout what kinda guy I like, and asked me to blog bout it.

Of course, the lamest sister I ever had; Ben. Tch!

So this is for you, asshole! ;D

-

-

#1: Appreciative

Everyone knows cooking isn't my forte, I can cook cup noodles until it's still.. uncooked, or cook maggie until it's burnt. But baking wise, I'm still passable. So if I'm naise enough to be baking for your freakin' ass-sake, be appreciative enough. TYVM. Don't hiam, if not that would be my last time and don't blame me in the future.

#2: Protective

Of course, since I'm always 'molested' by people while I'm sleeping on public transport. KNNBCCB. Hokay, chillax.

#3: Cook for me

Awesome right? You should be honored to be the first guy cooking for me. Lol. Okay, just kidding. But, I really admire guys who can cook. I like being in the kitchen with my guy. But of course I'll just stand there hindering only lor. Aiya, whatever- goes back to the first point, be appreciative!

#4: Able to teach me things

FYI, I'm like a frog living in the well. I know nothing, I am dumb. :\ Okay, but awesome.

I do not know how to cycle. I don't know how to play pool. Etc etc.

Just having someone who can teach you things, is like blessed. You can learn and grow from that particular person.

#5: Able to change their bad habits just for yours truly

#6: Surprise me every now and then

I don't need him to surprise me every time we see/meet, I prefer the randomness. The surprise is of course good one la, not those kind where I found out that he's two-timing. Duh! But that happens to me like 3/4 of my r/s. Who got as unlucky as me siol? ;(

#7: Able to act silly with me

I'm silly. I do silly things. I'm clumsy. Accept for who I am, bitch!

Of course not asking you to be an idiot la..

#8: FLIRT? A BIG NO NO

I will curse you. Okay, chillax. Gentle reminder to self; I am a gentle and good girl. Must chill.

I don't like guys like that. Knn, then I flirt with other guys can or not siol.

Aiya, these kinda guys - not worth it.

#9: Most importantly; A guy who I can trust, someone who's I'm comfortable with

Why? Cause trust can bring us forward.

Comfortable with being with one another, can talk bout anything, just like friends. Someone who I can sing to. LOL! I like being random too~

#10: Someone who's thoughtful + caring + understanding + initiative

Bonus, bonus, bonus. No need to be very; moderate can liaozx. Lol. Noticing my every small move; like when I'm sick.. taking care of me, (Y) (Y) double thumbs up. Someone who's alright if I'm late for meetings. :\ LOL! ><

The latest I'm ever late for a meetup = 3hours.

Mentally prepared is always better. Heh.

I prefer guys who're much initiative because I am not that kinda person. I am more of "Okay, can" person, who will just say "Let's go lor" if you really wanna go out.

Of course, everyone will have their expectations. All these are just the surface, what I want is someone who will love me for who I am, someone who will stand by me no matter what, and someone who will respect me.

Tada! Simple right? LOL.

Hao la, have I answered your question??

I am damn tired already. Thinking if I should go MIA these few days or not leyzx. Haven't study yet. ;( Wanna die already. I think I lack of sleep.

-

-

Behind these hazel eyes siol!

I found this somewhere. Guess I was otw to work. The main thing is, I miss my hazel/honey lens. Goddamn it. It was chio-er than my grey lens now. Siqi thinks otherwise though.

Okay la.. I'm going to sleep already, I'm sleepdeprivedgirl93.

P.S/ My dress postage is here! Damn freaking awesome. But I don't wear that kinda clothe. How siol? I also don't bare to give it to others.. Hello so expensive. ;(

Hokay, goodnight.

<3

FML TYVM

I hate myself.

If you do not know, I have an ugly past. Really ugly; You wouldn't know that I am that kinda person if I don't tell ya. I'm trying my very best to hide and conceal it. Perfectly without flaws. But recently, I just can't stop myself from thinking bout it. I am very ashamed. Many things that even my bffs doesn't know about it. I have never tell.

It's really uncountable. Till the extent where I can never start anew in my life anymore.

People can't understand, people who are expecting so much from me when I can't give them anything at all (regardless of friends, families and the you-know-whos).

To be honest, I'm still in the 'market', there's still people who likes me.. but I can never cross over to that line where I feel that I'm worth accepting the r/s. I can't even bring myself to confess to that guy I really like.

I dislike how people wanna me to be how they expect me to be.

Like how people expect me to be serious with them all the time because they've fucking no life and cannot take jokes, or people who expect me to do things for them..

Do you understand? Nah, cause you ain't me. You don't understand what I've been through and what's my past like. Cause y'all people have been living a good life; big house, family cars, no worries bout $$ etc etc.

Every scary memories of mine started since when I was only Primary 1. Just tell me, what kinda life were you having when all my nightmares have started? Playing with toy cars, or barbie dolls?

Or prolly it's my horoscope- Gemini. Who loves to play around; which most of the starsign cannot comprehend.

I think I'm not a good friend, or was a good girlfriend at all.

Guess I should just stay @ home and never leave the house, so that I won't socialize with any human being, or ending up hurting anyone that will appear in my life.

I know you hate me too.

Because even I hate myself, how much can you like me?

I don't expect people to give in to me or to pity me, but why can't people be more understanding?

How I wish there's someone who can listen to my story bout my past and yet still accept me for who I am. But someone like that is seriously hard to find, not even the closest friends. How would they look @ you when everything is being told?

Gentle reminder; Don't judge a book by its cover.

Expectations will only lead to regret in your life.

Having regrets is equal to leaving a stain in your life.

The reason for everything is because of you

HELLO GAISE! Take a look at mai sexy body!

Lol, okay just kidding. In case anyone of you is reading while eating..

Went out with ahkay on wednesday! AWESOMEEEE XD

We are like real shopaholics; can shop regardless how much we'd spent in that month.

Seriously, I'm broke until I can take off my pants and walk around Singapore naked. No joke. I've spent like around $800+ this month! SERIOUSLY.

I've got no idea what I spent on, so stop asking!

Went to have our lunch @ a fast food restaurant there @bugis and it was like, MAJOR TURN OFF. Fries were freaking asshole salty because salt is found in clumps on the fries. Damn!

And since we gave up eating our salt fries, we just cam-whore all the way!

& just when pretty photos are being taken, we take it to a higher standard. (Y)

I only bought one pair of shoe- it is damn cool. I doubt I will regret, but it's damn hard to say yo!

I'mma buy that heel next month when I get my pay!!

Ahkay! LET'S GO AGAIN! ;D

Anyway, here's my favourtie photo of us (one normal; one epic):

NORMAL

EPIC!

Majorly awesome (because I am in it!), hahahaha okay la!

This bff/laopo of mine is way freaking fucking awesome like a piece of cow brown, just being like a unicorn. (Y) Love her to the max.

P.S/ I know you don't understand what I'm trying tuh say, but you know what I tryna mean can already!

She's like very 'on' one lor, ask her go shopping, ok. Ask her to go drinking after work, ok.

But it seems like I'm corrupting her brain & mind, cause I'm the one who jio her out for all these. :(

P.S/ I DO NOT HAVE AN ACCENT WHEN I SPEAK IN ENGLISH! FOR GOD'S SAKE.

I've got no idea why my current classmates say I have that accent, those angmoh ones. I've got no idea if that's an insult or a compliment. Who knows? -.-

Prolly I took up some when I used to work @ Fremantle. But at least I still speak in Singlish.. Not that I'm proud of it. But I just think that it's weird when people say I have accent.

Aiya, whatever. Tomorrow have school + work. Should I wear spectacles or contact lens tomorrow? Eyes tired ley, but wear specs = shag. ;(

SIANZX!