FML TYVM

I hate myself.

If you do not know, I have an ugly past. Really ugly; You wouldn't know that I am that kinda person if I don't tell ya. I'm trying my very best to hide and conceal it. Perfectly without flaws. But recently, I just can't stop myself from thinking bout it. I am very ashamed. Many things that even my bffs doesn't know about it. I have never tell.

It's really uncountable. Till the extent where I can never start anew in my life anymore.

People can't understand, people who are expecting so much from me when I can't give them anything at all (regardless of friends, families and the you-know-whos).

To be honest, I'm still in the 'market', there's still people who likes me.. but I can never cross over to that line where I feel that I'm worth accepting the r/s. I can't even bring myself to confess to that guy I really like.

I dislike how people wanna me to be how they expect me to be.

Like how people expect me to be serious with them all the time because they've fucking no life and cannot take jokes, or people who expect me to do things for them..

Do you understand? Nah, cause you ain't me. You don't understand what I've been through and what's my past like. Cause y'all people have been living a good life; big house, family cars, no worries bout $$ etc etc.

Every scary memories of mine started since when I was only Primary 1. Just tell me, what kinda life were you having when all my nightmares have started? Playing with toy cars, or barbie dolls?

Or prolly it's my horoscope- Gemini. Who loves to play around; which most of the starsign cannot comprehend.

I think I'm not a good friend, or was a good girlfriend at all.

Guess I should just stay @ home and never leave the house, so that I won't socialize with any human being, or ending up hurting anyone that will appear in my life.

I know you hate me too.

Because even I hate myself, how much can you like me?

I don't expect people to give in to me or to pity me, but why can't people be more understanding?

How I wish there's someone who can listen to my story bout my past and yet still accept me for who I am. But someone like that is seriously hard to find, not even the closest friends. How would they look @ you when everything is being told?

Gentle reminder; Don't judge a book by its cover.

Expectations will only lead to regret in your life.

Having regrets is equal to leaving a stain in your life.

The reason for everything is because of you

HELLO GAISE! Take a look at mai sexy body!

Lol, okay just kidding. In case anyone of you is reading while eating..

Went out with ahkay on wednesday! AWESOMEEEE XD

We are like real shopaholics; can shop regardless how much we'd spent in that month.

Seriously, I'm broke until I can take off my pants and walk around Singapore naked. No joke. I've spent like around $800+ this month! SERIOUSLY.

I've got no idea what I spent on, so stop asking!

Went to have our lunch @ a fast food restaurant there @bugis and it was like, MAJOR TURN OFF. Fries were freaking asshole salty because salt is found in clumps on the fries. Damn!

And since we gave up eating our salt fries, we just cam-whore all the way!

& just when pretty photos are being taken, we take it to a higher standard. (Y)

I only bought one pair of shoe- it is damn cool. I doubt I will regret, but it's damn hard to say yo!

I'mma buy that heel next month when I get my pay!!

Ahkay! LET'S GO AGAIN! ;D

Anyway, here's my favourtie photo of us (one normal; one epic):

NORMAL

EPIC!

Majorly awesome (because I am in it!), hahahaha okay la!

This bff/laopo of mine is way freaking fucking awesome like a piece of cow brown, just being like a unicorn. (Y) Love her to the max.

P.S/ I know you don't understand what I'm trying tuh say, but you know what I tryna mean can already!

She's like very 'on' one lor, ask her go shopping, ok. Ask her to go drinking after work, ok.

But it seems like I'm corrupting her brain & mind, cause I'm the one who jio her out for all these. :(

P.S/ I DO NOT HAVE AN ACCENT WHEN I SPEAK IN ENGLISH! FOR GOD'S SAKE.

I've got no idea why my current classmates say I have that accent, those angmoh ones. I've got no idea if that's an insult or a compliment. Who knows? -.-

Prolly I took up some when I used to work @ Fremantle. But at least I still speak in Singlish.. Not that I'm proud of it. But I just think that it's weird when people say I have accent.

Aiya, whatever. Tomorrow have school + work. Should I wear spectacles or contact lens tomorrow? Eyes tired ley, but wear specs = shag. ;(

SIANZX!

Life and Love is always so unpredictable

What exact term do you call this bloody bear? O.o

It's damn cute, never fails to remind me of 'Happy Tree Friends'. Damned I was so addicted to that show before! ROFL.

Went home after earning bitches, having nothing to do- so I camwhore a bit.

Hokay, maybe more than a bit. -.-

Saw Yingzi with her friends while working today. AWESOME.

It's been ages since I met her.

;(

See, me took so much photos. Like never ending.

No la, cause I wore my Gray lens ma~ Must show off a bit here and there.

But I somewhat missed my Honey lens. Damn it was chio.

Prolly gonna try other colours too ;)

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I WAS THINKING BLUE! But a bit chao ah lian if I wear. Totally not used to it.

-.- Oh wells.

AND FUCKING I AM POK GAI NOW ALREADY. FML BIG TIME.

NO MONEY NO HONEY.

Okay, have to like sleep now if not GG. (Y)

\m/ Rock on bitches!

$$$$$ COME TO MAMA! <3

I'm prepared to die young, what about you?

Hai every body!♥ I skipped school today; I didn't want to seriously, I had no choice. Hokay, excuses excuses. Haha~

Quarreled with my parents last night, and had my eyes swollen like a goldfish cause I cried like a tight pussy. Gave swollen eyes as excuse and refuse to go to school because I couldn't open my eyes. MY EYES WERE LITERALLY -.- LOOKING LIKE THIS IN THE MORNING. FML.

Continued sleeping until it's time to meet with Siqi.

My eyes were only half opened while preparing. ;( Still went out when eyes cannot open already -.- One word, cui.

Should have photoshop my eyes & make it look damn huge. :\

Eunos>City Plaza>Bugis>Home

I spent a lot of ka ching* today. Bought my contact lens again. ^^\m/

Bought a few pieces of clothes and I'm feeling damn regret now. Do you guys feel that way sometimes too? Like when you see a piece of shirt/pants/skirt, it's like damn chio & you really want to get it damn badly. But when you reached home, you find it wasted; shouldn't have bought it in the first place.

IKR! I ALWAYS DO HAVE THAT FEELING.

BUY ALREADY THEN THINK THAT IT'S NOT WORTH IT. FML BIG TIME.

Aiya, no time take so many pictures today la. MY EYES ARE SWOLLEN. Excuse again.

Don't be demanding!

Have to sleep like now cause tomorrow and the day after tomorrow I have to work!

Earn that bitch back. You money fucker!

$$$$$$$$$$

Money makes the world goes round.

Money isn't everything, but without money you can never do anything.

Money is important- My motto.

Okay, bonus for all ya guise who thinks I'm cool/awesome, here's my best photo today:

♥♥♥

Cause I'm just another girl, I fall in love- deeply

Baby I'm sorry, even when I'm with you, I'm lonely

I must be lacking when it comes to LOVE

WHAT I'M MISSING RIGHT NOW:

• Talking to you
• Holding your hand
• Having a fight with you
• Having our meals together
• Listening to you speak
• Texting you like every minute
• Waiting for me; The instance when I know you're waiting
• When you treat me like a princess
• When you give in to the stubborn me
• Saying 'sorry' just to end our fight
• When you start making promises.. and breaking them one by one
• Walking side by side
• Your shoulders
• Your smile whenever I said something funny
• Your sweet comments about me
• When we starting to plan our weekends date on Tuesdays
• Your cracked lips
  
  

But no, I am not missing you; I am missing how to not being lonely.

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P/S: I really like you, tried really hard to forget you. But you just have to obstruct my plans. What are you going to do if I'm falling hard? Crush; Liking and falling hard; leads you to nowhere. Please don't get me anticipate what will happen when I'm with you. Really liking to the moment when there's only you & me.

<3

The most pathetic thing that can happen in school is..

FORGETTING TO BRING YOUR WALLET & YOUR PHONE'S BATTERY IS DYING, BOTH @ THE SAME FREAKING TIME!

Yes, y'all! I'm in school, without my wallet meaning no cash equals to no breakfast/lunch, no sweet drinks, no tidbits, no sweets, no snacks and so on la!

Me hungry like a bitch.

Me angry like an angry bird.

This is my version of a hungry bitch, & an angry bird.

Seriously my stomach is making music now.

Oh my goodness.

Or this will depict the concept better? "Hungry bitch; angry bird" look.

Goodbye peepos. Let me die in class because of hunger. Thankyouverymuch.

Taking one huge step forward in life

SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI ❤

Managed to psycho SIQI into eating sushi with me on last Saturday after our work! ^^ Ultra happy because I've been craving it for so long.

It would be best if I can psycho her into eating pizza with me one day. Lol.

*No wonder I am gaining kilos. :(

Don't remember how much we've eaten, but I definitely ate more than her, who eats damn a lot.

OMG! Just seeing this picture makes me wanna go eat again! SIQI, LET'S GO EAT ONE MORE TIME~! ;D

And then she recommended to eat the Jellyfish.

I was pretty dumb to not know this is jellyfish when every year I'm eating it at least once because of the yusheng my parents would order for CNY.

So here's SIQI trying to show how much she loves jellyfish!

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While we were eating our dessert (ice cream puff), these guys in the background took a picture of us lor. KNS.

What happened was, on our dessert bowl, there left 2 or 3 more ice cream puff and I've touched one of them but in the end I didn't eat as I was 'distracted' counting how much I've ate.

At the same moment, SIQI coincidentally picked up the exact same piece that I touched. So I wanted to stop her from eating that piece.

Who knows I accidentally poked the puff instead of her hand, and she dropped it. & So on luh, can't really recall the rest.

BUT! It was damn funny that I laughed like non-stop. Causing these guys to take 'attention' to us, and freaking snapped a picture of us.

Prolly they're so gonna post it up on Stomp. Please help me lookout and inform one of us. Thx.

We were damn full after eating.

Initially our plan was just drinking after work, but one person fly us kite and we couldn't make purchase, like duh! All because his fault la! ;(

In the end we went back to our workplace, sing song & drink drink!~

AWESOME PIECE OF SHIT!

SIQI only drank like less than half of the bottle (cause she didn't finish it all!), and I drank 1 and 1/2 of it. Hoegaarden wasn't up to my expectation, really. I wish there was Pure Blonde.

The aftermath of SIQI drinking = Singing like madwoman, talking non stop, being crazy.

Well, at least I wasn't like her. Hahaha!

Left workplace with Huimin and Huosheng, and they keep saying we're sampat. -.-

Damn! Our reputation is ruin.

So, what do you wanna see at the end of this post?? ^^

How crazy I looked when I drink?

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NAH! I wasn't!

Just face red only~ ;|

I AM A GOOD DRINKER, OK? :D

Unlike someone! Hint hint* Lol.

The churning feeling that you've caused me to have

Take a look into my eyeball

Can you see sincerity, when I talked

Freaking tired! Fucking stressed!

Everyday school school school, no school = work, no work = granddad's house. I guess these are the only place you will find me. Seriously missing my best friend, SHOPPING.

But I'm damn loner (who doesn't have anyone to jio for major retail therapy), like what.. sad right?

Just gonna update you guys a lil; I've grown a few kgs. DAMNED!

I'm screwed! I've screwed up my life, my future, my jeans .. OH MAN! ;( Terribly in need to cut down weight. Must watch what I'm eating already.

Which means I must stop eating too much fried food, shaker fries, tidbits, sweet drinks, meat etc. Prolly just eat YTF and drink plain water everyday. FML.

I've never liked someone like this before, for this long. But I know that it's impossible between us, even without trying.

Everyday I'm shufflin' !!

Seeing is deceiving

Dreaming is believing

HOW NOW BROWN COW! ^^ Stupid phrase keep stuck on my head after my cousin keep repeating it.

It's long since I last posted something. No, I didn't neglect my little space here- I was very busy; up to my throat. Like, seriously. There's so much things to do with little amount of time given. I NEED MORE TIME! D;

More time to self-study @home, shopping w/ friends, working like a mad cow &earning cash, socializing (not flirting!! omg, I don't flirt. imma good girl next door ^^), learning something new~, drinking sessions with my buddies, selling away all my 'junkies', and so many more.

Need.Me.To.List.Out?!!

Currently in class listening to resource review, yuh.. I can multi-task. Very well. ^^

TODAY IS SCHOOL TRIP SEY~ ;D

Gonna go ClarkeQuay @a later time with the class. BUT! I'm hungry like shit. And there was a guy standing outside our class eating like a mad cow. Nb. Lao niang freaking hungry lor, like tempt only!

Pray hard I won't get lost later while finding the bus stop @ClarkeQuay to Scape. If not I'll be late for work after school.

*Goddamn! As I am typing all these, my stomach is growling like nobody's business. Please facilitator! GIMME A BREAK NOW, SO I CAN EAT LIKE A MAD COW! :@

P/S: Can't wait for drinking session with Siqi this Saturday after work!

P/S P/S: I want watch movie sey! Everyone like bochap me liddat. So poor thing. ME WANT TO WATCH THOR, THE ROOMMATE & SCREAM4!!