Prepared for that day, when I can't even look up for you

I'm missing my long hair now.

Seriously why do hairdressers have to think that 1 inch = 3 inch long?

Short hair makes me kinda sad, after all it takes me quite some time in order to keep that length dude.

First I ranted about square nails, now I'm ranting all day bout my shorter hair. Bitch, grow up.

-

Somehow I was hoping to stay all day at home and leave for a movie at night during these CNY days y'know? Forget about house visiting, red packets, Chinese new year goodies, whatever. I need rest you know? I'm still feeling giddy after falling in the toilet that day, though my one week fever has been stabilized and all BUT I'm still not yet fully recovered yet.

-

I realized that one day, you might go back to her. I mean, you're a guy who would go back to your comfort zone rather than starting on something that you aren't confident enough of. And she's probably having her own good ways to get you mesmerize once again. It's easy. Just by doing it the second time.

I will get myself prepared for that day whereby I could no longer ask you out, or even to contact you because who knows, she might get all jealous over again.

However, once you're in my heart, you shall always be there.

Though I still wish I could spend more time with you, it's okay if we are only able to be friends, purely friends.

But that doesn't mean I won't be there for you or care for you anymore.

I just want all the best for you.

I could exchange all my happiness for yours as long as you won't regret and stay happy and blessed forever.

Yes dude, it hurts- so badly.

A new start, probably?

Happy Chinese New Year to y'all!

This year's CNY isn't much of expectation to me because I can't receive any angbao on the first day, and as usual the second day is just gonna suck. So yea. Plus, we've to go back to school on the third day.

Nevertheless, I hope everyone else can eat whatever they want, socialise with their relatives, receive as much red packets they can, and enjoy their celebrations. Good day!

一种感觉，那时的梦

曾经的我们，曾那么快乐

一言一语，打动心里

一举一动，破碎的心

现在的我们，还剩了什么

--

曾那么努力想要为你加油，曾那么努力想要在你难过时 陪在你身边，曾那么努力不让你孤独，也曾那么努力让你幸福。

没人曾知道，我所拥有的‘曾经’ 是有多少的喜怒哀乐和想要给你的祝福。

你曾是我的全世界。

虽然，你依然还是我的全部，但我会慢慢地为了自己而设想。

就只有把你当成我的‘最好朋友’，才能永远把你留在我身边。

如果我们只是擦肩而过，那为什么轻轻的碰撞也会这么的痛？

Just sharing a nice and meaningful song

I know that I'm insignificant and I know that it's impossible

The longer it takes, the hopeless I get

Since you never even glance at me

No matter what I do, you'd never gonna love me

I know soon these dreams I have will come to an end

Right now there's still some time left to find a good reason

to hold you back, I know it's hopeless

No matter how much I love you

I know you'd never be interested, but a man can dream

I still hope that some day you will love me

It's impossible since you think I'm not the one, but it's fine

I'd just keep you in my heart forever

Even though I tried I could never please you

What you got from me could be just annoyance

I just hope you'd hear to this

One last song just for you

From the deepest of my heart just only for you

Right now there's still some time left to find a good reason

to hold you back, I know it's hopeless

No matter how much I love you

I know you'd never be interested, but a man can dream

I still hope that some day you will love me

It's impossible since you think I'm not the one, but it's fine

I'd just keep you in my heart forever

I've no idea how long it would take until I can forget you

until all the precious memories fade away

until I can love someone again

Right now there's still some time left to find a good reason

to hold you back, I know it's hopeless

No matter how much I love you

I know you'd never be interested, but a man can dream

I still hope that some day you will love me

It's impossible since you think I'm not the one, but it's fine

I'd just keep you in my heart forever

Since you think I'm not the one, but it's fine

As long as I'm still breathing

I will love you forever

2012, Please be good to me

New year's resolution, maybe it's too late already since it's already the 13th day.

Let's put it as "Things I hope I can achieve in 2012" instead then.

1. Year2 Semester2 to quickly end!
2. Enjoy my internship @ Citibank
3. Slim down, be motivated to go exercising
4. Renovate my room - My mom's gonna throw away gram's bed (I miss her! Sobs.)
5. Learn to be more sociable
6. Improve time management
7. Overseas with friends/love ones
8. EARN MORE MONEY $.$
9. Find back the cheerful and optimistic me
10. Be brave with the things that I want
11. Understand the importance of saving money
12. Spend more time with my family and my loved ones
13. Try ice skating & roller blading
14. -Love myself-

Don't tell me I'm beautiful because I know I'm ugly

#plasticsurgeries I have been wondering why would people engage into something like this and suffer for the sake of beauty that is, non-natural.

I mean, of course you became prettier but what about those money you've pumped in, those recovery time (that can be wisely spent instead of staying home to recuperate), taking risks- what if the equipments are unsafe or the skills of your surgeon is not experienced enough; and so many other unforeseen circumstances that might occur during and after the surgery.

I understand everyone wants to be a beauty and skip the routine of waking up early in the morning for preparation like putting on make up; ensuring your scars are concealed, your nose is seemingly high and sharp, or even a Angelina Jolie's full and pouty lips. Make up is a hassle for me too and it can cost more than some surgeries in the long run.

I want to be beautiful and confident enough too when I look into the mirror just like other girls. But the thought of suffering pain under the knife, kills me. Although I've always said "Suffering some pain for beauty sake is definitely worth it," but does that applies to going through cosmetic surgeries? I don't know, it's your say.

For me, I'm against myself going through the process under knife but like I've said, I want to be beautiful and since we're only young once and definitely going to live once, maybe I would consider getting one. Not now, but maybe someday. However, I am not sure if I'm able to overcome the consequences of going under the knife and neither do I have so much cash to do one.

Kudos to those who've done it. I see them as a group of people who are very brave instead of superficial or fake. For the sake of themselves and knowing what they want, they're willing to sacrifice and endure with the pain.

Fantasies shall be fantasy. If I could, I would most probably do 3 areas on my face. (I would look so different by then.)

Who knows what might happen in 5years down the road?

Am I strong enough to "Unfriend" you?

Have been cooping myself at home since last Thursday.

Me sucha anti-social.

*I beg your forgiveness for posting such an old photo. Seriously no life.

Did my nails, a very impromptu decision and first time I would actually filed it into square nails. Seriously regretted it after 5 nails were filed. I never will understand why so many girls prefer their nails to be in square shaped. I mean it's so.. inconvenient.

*Ranting on square nails- me no life.

P/S: Would we happen to want the same thing from each other?

P/S: P/S: Things changes so often that 'guarantee' shall not be spoken. Why are we still believing something that is never guaranteed? Who knows the next second it would no longer be the same; regardless a person's character or something that you're getting..

P/S: P/S: P/S: Insecurities. Tell me, how many of you are like that? I am. I'm insecure in many things because I am nobody. I don't have a preference although I'm not a follower. I don't have something that I dislike nor hate. I can't even tell you what color I like. I am not pretty, not cute, not gentle, not able to commit, no smart, not someone with hot bods.. There are countless of good qualities that I lacked with, so where did my little confidence came from? 

Confidence Vs Insecurities

Which of them weighs much more in each of the human beings?

Myself, I wonder too.

Listen to your heart or brain?

I believe that none of my facilitator for this semester likes me. Reason? Cause I'm always late for their lessons. -.-

Y'know now I don't know what I want, periodically.
It's like 'I want this, but deep down I know I don't need it.' Just like how 'I still like him, but I know I definitely deserves better.'

So lost in life you see. Always contradicting myself and thinking way too much beyond. I really need a change and get a life.

As soon as I accept that you're gone, you're back again

Addiction is so addictive.

Never 'try' something out if you know you can never get over it.

Whatever, regardless it's drinking, clubbing, smoking, love, piercing, tattoos. Just whatever. 

There are so many things in life that maybe you believe you won't get addicted to it just by trying it out.

But! All these are just like a straight route; without turning back once you try as it leads you to a route that you can only continue and never turn around.

Oh well, just a bit ranting here and there.

Okay lor, now I shall go back into reality and continue finishing up things I've not finished. Screwed up myself totally. 

#Holidays are finally round the corner, 17 more days ya?

Countdown-ing!

But come to think of it, what can I do during the holidays? I am that kind of person who dislike having free time/day. I like my schedule to be packed regardless of work, meeting up or whatever shit. So, how can I survive this time? -.-

Treat others like how you wanna be treated

Contemplating if I should even post this shit up. But emotions have run wild again. No choice.

I'm really mad at people who gets you replaced because now they've another 'choice'.

Yes, it's true that I may not be a good employee who comes on time and bootlick every staff in the outlet. But at least I can swear upon that I do work that are in or out of my jobscope. At least I was hardworking and faithful enough to stay in that fucking outlet until now. Shouldn't you guys be contented already??

Now because you've hired more employees, you've the cheek to tell me that schedule that's late are not accepted and you cannot work for that week?! Screw your ass man, seriously. For what shit have I stayed on and work when you guys don't have enough staff?! This is how you treat your faithful staff?

I wish karma happens on you. I won't be nice to you guys anymore, I can assure you this.