Love, is like wanting something badly enough

Just how badly you want it; how badly you think it's worth it.
Everyone in my life has high worth on its own. However, once disappointment starts all those shits, everything falls back into place.

Many different part of me, but which part is real?

Evaluating your sincerity

Tired die me.
Fuck my workplace, knn never receive my hard earned salary for last month. Fuck the company.

If only I can Google out how you feel & what you want right now

Haven't you once felt like "It would be good if I can google out my answers about this particular person!"

Like why your friend hasn't reply to your text, or how your crush feels about you, or why is this person treats you hot a moment and cold the next, or how this person you've just met thinks about you..

If only we are able to get answers easily and never so unpredictably.

It never fails to get me frustrated when I don't seem to have my 'answers' and I know it's impossible for me to google it out, of course.

Nevertheless, it's irritating that someone completely ignores you and chose not to contact you, and recently trying their best to recontact you again, and went back into silence.

"凭什么说来就来，说走就走。

凭什么连对不起都不说，就以为我会原谅你。

凭什么把我好不容易恢复秩序的生活打乱。"

 Who gives you the rights to come and go as you please? Who gives you the rights to think that I will forgive you every time you apologize? 

Who gives you the rights to disrupt my life that I've put in so much effort in to adjust my life back to normal?

I'm fucked up.

I'm screwed in the very beginning.

I want to know the answers immediately. I've no patience.

Do it like a dude

Posting this via mobile. Went to school with a tummy ache due to fuckingggg menses. *inserts angry face everywhere. There are times when I find being a guy might be better than being a girl; at least there's much more good points.

No need to worry bout pain like giving birth, periods, heartbreaks by jerks they've met, and so much more. At least from what I see, a guy suffers less pain compared to girls.

Nevertheless; FUCK ALL MENSTRUAL!!!

Taking a closer look at yourself

Cheerios. Raise your glasses up, my mates!

"Humans don't really change, it's just that we're taking a closer look at the real side of us.

Through all those pretends, all those cover-ups."

*Controversial.

Hiding the scars well, but you know it's still there- forever.

The worse feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you knowing that you mean nothing to them.

Has been feeling so fucking tired every single day. 

Same routine every week; late for school, sleep in school, work during weekends, planning to chill with friends but never happen at all, sleep all day and watch drama all night. #Nocturnal lifestyle FTW.

 Have you ever wonder life's too short for people who has second thoughts?

I think if you ever have any idea on mind, why not go ahead and do it without spending much time thinking over and over again? Life's short, anyway.

Enjoy life while you can, appreciate it. Love any decisions you make.

I never regret those decisions I've made during these few months.

Though many people will see me differently. If I tell anyone bout my secrets, I doubt they would never look at me at the same way again. But, then again life's too short for regrets.

It's better to be a book that's fully written with difference experiences than a book that's clean and empty.

I mean, what if your life ends the next day and you realize that you've not really experience anything at all in your life before? I believe that would be the time that you'll really regret.

#Don't regret with the decisions you've made in life- even if you have to, sink in and enjoy the feeling of regrets. Enjoy your life and appreciate the outcome of your decisions. Once your mind is set, do it immediately and thoroughly. Regrets are only for the weak-hearted.

Which route to happiness would you take?

 Crazy week I've been through; heartbreaks, swollen eyes due to crying, running away from Tuesday class (sure get a fucking fantastic F), club gone wrong, and obviously meeting up with best friends whom have not meet up for a very long time.

Hell yeahhh, crazy week I must say.

First time walking around aimlessly in a mall with my smeared make up after crying like an asshole in school, though it wasn't the first time crying in school. Felt so pathetic.

Went to watch a movie alone, for the first time. Wanted to watch some horror and just fucking cry in the theater, but ended up watching The Changed Up instead. The feeling of watching a movie alone was beyond description, seriously. Especially it's M18 show, with 2 weird uncles (one @ your right, another @ your left) watching alone. Who knows they got horny or what, right? But I guess it didn't make much difference because I don't really like talking throughout the movie anyway.

Bought a new friend home for companion since I was that sad.

Went to clubbing on Saturday and I fucking misplaced my debit card with someone else's. Screwed. And magically the owner's friend managed to find me on FB, and he happens to be in RP too. Wow. FB does the wonders. And I am so dumb to not know that I wasn't holding my card all along. 

Lesson learnt, never swipe your debit card in a club.

I just pray hard that the guy will return me my card if not need to go through so much procedures to get everything done.

Okay, feeling very lazy right now.

Shall go to bed already, tomorrow's 8.30am lesson. Screwed.

Where do I find the strength and advice I need?

The 'outside world' is suffocating me so badly that I wanna escape from it.

I will make a choice once he's back.

It's between to leave the 'outside world' or to continue staying and suffer.

It depends on his decision- if he keeps his promise, I'll stay.

If not, me leaving would be best for the 4 of us.

Of course, leaving will need me much more strength than you can think. Nevertheless, I do not want to be the problem arising in people's problems again. Being the bitch isn't a glorious thing. I don't ever wanna hurt anyone in any fucking situation.

It's time for me to make a decision and stick to it.

Either way, I'm still getting hurt.

Either way, I still love him.

"Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead."

Go with the flow.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart

Just how much credibility are there in someone's words?

How do you know whether he/she is trustworthy?

I'm not sure how trustworthy he is, or how much belief I can take his words, but am I wrong if I'm starting to doubt that whatever he promised me isn't out of sincerity in the beginning? 

Is it me who lacks of confidence, or is it me that don't believe someone like him?

What is happiness?

Celebrated SIQI's birthday as well as Sister's day on 25th September.

Vivo for bento lunch that XY's mom prepared for us!

Awesome like it is! ^^

Me with the birthday girl~ 

And I made her take stupid pictures with me; acting as though we are some tourists.

Poor her; Always have to go crazy with me.

And I guess that's the reason why nowadays she rejects me when I jio her for sushi buffet. Cause I've this mad crazy love for sushi; somehow.

Look! I'm a tourist! 

And after, we headed to town!

There's this guy who boarded the train and posed as though he's some super hawt model and I kept snapping his photos. Can't stop laughing.

P/S: Can you see his eyes looking into the camera? ><

After Playnation; Damn I was good in games.

Hahahaha. 

Finally the last one had her birthday and I'm glad we still love each other.

They are the best I ever had since primary school days. 7years and still counting. 

I wonder how they are able to withstand a friend like me for so long and all my nonsense all these while.

^^ Love isn't a word for them; There should be a bigger word than that with deeper meaning for these 3 awesome girls who've been with me- either mentally or physically.

\m/

18TH BIRTHDAY;

Some of you might have been far away from your 18th, and/or some of you might have not reach this very special day. But for mine, it's just 4 months ago and during this short 4 months.. So many things have happened in my life. It's starting to freak me out that I've been experiencing so much stuff during this short period of time.

I fall deeply, become stupid, neglecting most of important things, changing all over, hurting myself and someone else etc etc.

18th.. Definitely the year that I'll remember the most; deeply enough than you can think.

I wonder, do I regret?

It's hard to say, you see.

I'm happy, but I'm afraid that my happiness only comes by for a short period of time.