It just take a moment for someone to change

Horrifying enough, but it's true.

I've changed. People change, because we've learnt something that we've not in the past. It crafts us into someone we least expected. 

And what we wished for after our change, is that our beloved friends & family will still be able to accept us.

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Okay. On Thursday, headed to MS kbox with Ahni and co. because it was Michael's last day.

Partied all night. 

I've learnt 2 things that night. Lol, but I am only able to tell you one of them; billiard.

I think I'm the worse student ever! Kelvin had difficulties teaching me and I guess his blood was boiling at certain point of time. Zzz.

Please take a look @ my legs right now.. Have ya noticed my bruises??

God! The next morn when I woke up, whole stretch of both my legs are covered with bruises. At least 5 on each. No joke. This isn't funny anymore. I even have one on my left thumb, and one each on both my hands.

And then here comes the magic.

LO & BEHOLD!

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I swear I wasn't drunk before this.

But hey, at least I still know how to protect myself after all this shit. Look, I'm crossing my leg.

FYI, I was wearing skirt that day. :)

AND! Most importantly I zipped up my jacket hor!

Protect myself from zao geng-ing. (Y)

When I saw these photos being uploaded on FB, all that went through my mind was "DID I FUCKING CB VOMIT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR?!" & "HOW THE FUCK DID I WENT HOME AFTER ALL THIS SHIT?!"

Okay, chill people. I was fine.

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Okay, maybe this isn't extreme enough right???

Of course there will be more exciting one~

That little cute head is me.

I am really wondering if I puked on the floor.. See that shiny part at the top left hand corner??

WTF TTM. 

Totally got myself wasted that night. 

Hey, Martell + Vodka + Beer okay? -.-

Don't start cursing me or scolding me on my stupidity yet.

I've reasons to this though it's really pretty dumb and what's not.

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Watching the clock ticking right now, I felt so numb.

Wanting to get my ass out of this mess I've caused myself but it only seems like I'm giving myself more excuses to continue on.

Moving on isn't as simple as you think, especially when you've fallen this hard.

I ain't dumb, I know what's going on.

But I'm helpless when it comes to you right now.

Controversial enough for me.

Screaming inside my head, hot tears rolling down my fat cheeks.

There's a reason why. And the reason is you.

I'm well fucked.

*Not literally la. -.-

Nobody ever made me feel this way

Wednesday seems to be very happening, every time. ^^v

In the afternoon went back to school for photoshoot, and I'd already load hella lots of make up at home, and when I reached there, they still fucking put on more make up on me.

Macham like wayang already lor.

Then at night went to Ahni's house for barbeque + steamboat.

Made a mess in her kitchen cause I suck at cooking. :P

But when we're starting to eat, I felt so tired as thought I can sleep while eating. No joke.

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I'm a hardcore pussy. Damn it.

I'm too fickle-minded already, I think. Whatever you've told me on Tuesday night.. I really want to do it, but fear starts to creep in on me. I am most willing to, but I'm afraid that that day will never come, and I'll just be waiting in vain.

I wanted to move on (tho it's hard), but then again I don't want myself to regret.

Let's say you're in love with someone, you'll start to imagine/picture the both of you together in the future, or somewhere along that line, don't you?

But it seems like I can never picture us together. More like I can't see future in us.

Yet, I'm still holding on, and willing to wait like a pussy.

I don't know what I want right now.

Y'know, those mixed feelings gushing to my brain.. It's sick.

Whatever. I just have to make sure that I don't have any high expectations from him.

At least I won't get hurt this way.

I doubt that my heart can take it any longer.

I'm waiting outside the lines

Fuck yeah! Year 2 Sem 1 classmates <3

This coming Monday would be the last lesson with this group of awesome people.

At first I thought I wouldn't have this weird feeling inside me when 15weeks are over with them. You can tell that I've change to very nonchalant this semester. I don't come to school on time (late every single day), I don't do my work unless I feel like it (prolly only once?), I don't even listen in class and sleep everyday.

I guess I was wrong. I do miss them.

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I know I am pretty dumb, people asked me to move on; I'll find someone better; he's not worth it.. I heard more of this. But right now I can't. At least not now. Fall too deeply, can't pull myself out.

Yes, admit that we're still text-ing each other, and going out as usual.

I am like addicted to his smell that lingers on me.

(I'm sucha loser right?)

His inconsistency brings my emotions up and down, just like riding on a rollercoaster.

He can make me feel loved for once, and yet bring me down at times.

I'm just likka kid that's waiting for a stranger to buy me sweets. The probability of getting it is really slim, yet I am still waiting earnestly. Aiya, simply dumb lor. 

Love is blind what.

P/S: Been really addicted to Tetris even though I suck balls on it. -.-

I am more stupid than anyone else

Okay, update you guys alright? Though it isn't something worth celebratin'.

First time confessing to a guy whom I really like. I've no idea why I like him in the first place, really. He's so complicated, and we're so fucking different. I guess I liked how we spend time together, and how nice he treats me, even if it's just sister-brotherly feel.

Yea, got rejected cause he wants to be single for the time being.

My decision right now? I just wanna stick around and be there for him whenever I can. I don't really want anything in return, it's alright even if he makes use of me. Even if he just treat me as a friend/sister, it doesn't matter. That's how hard I've fell, and how difficult it is for me to turn back, period. 

 Wanna thank him for not avoiding me and still concern bout me.

That's what I am feeding on right now.

I was thinking bout working @thai club as waitress (apparently I told him bout it), and he asked me not to because it's really dangerous.

Although prolly it's just concern bout a friend, I'm thankful enough already.

No matter how bad he might be, how different we are, and how complicated his love/relationship life is, I've fell into this pit and just wanna stick around him, even if he treats me as a friend.

P/S: When is iPhone5 be coming out siaaaaaa!

*Abruptly ending this, but the whole story is that I like a guy, my first time confessing to someone, he rejected me, I am sad but I'm still willing to be there for him.

THE END. Silly me.

P/S P/S: LOVE BEGINS WITH A SMILE, GROWS WITH A KISS, AND ENDS WITH A TEARDROP.
Strangely enough, even though we aren't together, I've been through this whole thing.
The curse of love. Stupid cupid please aim your arrows properly can or not?

You reap what you sow, bitch!

Those sweet talking of yours like just killed me on the spot.

Comforting yet enough to torture me thoroughly.

Tormented till very end, that's what you get for starting the 'game'.

To be honest, I never thought I would be falling into the pit. I really disliked ## in the first place, and thought it would be fun to get you pwned.

But right now, I'm gamed.

I think this is what you call it- karma & "You reap what you sow".

GG-FIED.

Falling in this pit which I dug it supposedly for you to ended up in.

How I wish I am not like this.