Dear myself

Dear Brain, sorry for overloading you.
Dear Tummy, sorry for the butterflies.
Dear Eyes, sorry for making you tear every single time.
Dear Pillow, sorry for the tears.
Dear Photos, sorry for giving you so much burden.
Dear Love, sorry for clinging onto you.
Dear Body, sorry for hurting you.
Dear Life, sorry for making you suffer with me.
Dear Heart, sorry for all the damages..


I'm sorry but I cannot stop. It will never stop.
The thoughts of you keep running in me.
The routines, the flashbacks, the memories that have you and me.
There was always us in everything. But now, it's left with 'Me'.
Only left with me and my feelings.

Goodbye my love

I find that I am very childish.

I cry like shit and refuse to let go.

I was once under my Mom's wing and she is the most important ever in my life. But every new kid gets distracted by other reasons and be attracted to them. I stopped following someone I list 'Important' for the past 16years, and followed someone else, thinking that that should be someone more important for me, who can accept me for who I am, just like my Mom. Someone who can give me love, attention, and care. But everything went wrong and I am left alone by the guy who is so important to me for a year plus whom I twist my brain juice for, thinking of what I can do for him. I am very dependent on him, and refuse to let go, physically and mentally. But now, I've became a burden to him, and decided to go his ways. And now, I am just like a lost kitten, who just got abandoned by her most important guy, and couldn't find her Mom back. So, I will be alone, trying to get my feet back up, trying my best to get used to it. I am still trying...

I really love you deeply where I take all your words for real, expecting you'll keep your words and promises and make them come true. But now, all I am left to do for you, is only to let you go, allow you to find someone better than I am, someone who attracts you more than you were for me.

Dating is not meant to be something for me. Probably starting is never my thing.

B for Blue

TUESDAY BLUES

Not only there's monday blues, it goes the same for tuesday.

New class, new people, totally are all strangers to me.

Seriously uh! A fresh new start, is always a lousy day to begin with.
And, a self-intro? Just how many self-intro must I do in my RP life man?
Can't we just have a stupid name-tag or sticker that identifies everyone?
&when someone idiotic enough to ask for our name, we are at least able to point at the name-tag smartly.

Haha. Beat that, moron.
I miss W45D already, like super much. Miss all those crapping and nonsense.
And like wtf?! First day of lesson and it's Maths2. Fucking difficult lor.
Or at least tell us to revise for something what.

In the end I did like nothing except FB, and MSN.
Great job! Wow, I am so impressed.
I should be reading the hospitality pre-reading now, but at this time, I should be sleeping too. So who cares? At least tomorrow is still the first week of new semester.
I guess I should be lucky enough to have lenient facilitators.
And I need to be in formal shit. It's just day2 of school man!

I think I'm ending here. Because I do not really have anything to post about.
Just trying to waste time :D

Ohya! By the way, I LOVE BLUE! :))))))))))))))))))))
&I love BGK!~

Feeling Weird

Fucked! I've been smiling to myself tonight.

For nothing, seriously.

-.-

Probably because I have not been taken my medication at all for weeks, and I lied to my mom that I am still taking it.

I feel so bad now.

I couldn't sleep for nights :( It's like something you call, insomnia.

I think.

I only managed to sleep at 8am yesterday but went out to meet Twinnie at 12noon to town.

P.S/ I really hate people who just follow trend blindly.

Shall go to bed now. Pictures up tomorrow. Goodnight poppas.

*Gosh, google up what poppas mean sillies! Lol.

What a fucking day!

Fucking Lousy Day!

You can never compare mine to yours.

Today is finally my last day during the 3days-work at a well-known hotel.

Like, FINALLY!

But I had the fucktard shity day, today.

First, I got molested by this Indian Hairy Man on the train. This fucking man touch my left boob, and fucking made it seem like an accident. Next, because both of us are grabbing the pole in the train, he fucking keep touching my hand. All use 'buah-guey' method la! (Improve on your hokkien if you don't understand.) Then when I was about to alight the train, he just fucking shit smile to me and say, "OH, I'm sorry."

Fuck seh! What's more interesting is that now I know how Singaporeans were to react if something like that happens and right infront of them.

They just look at the victim, and do nothing.

Just enjoying their show of a xiaomeimei being molested.

They just didn't manage to get their popcorn& coke at any cinema since it's too far away.

Ugly people.

Wait till you or your loved ones suffer.

Don't worry, I will be enjoying it as well, with nachos &cheese.

I was about to fucking scream and shout, or at least beat him but he was damn lucky as he was able to escape once the train doors open.

Fucking hairy molester!

Such horntards who molest people should just die, or get some disease.

I'm seriously cursing you, if you don't get it.

---

As for today's work, staffs are nice to me also. Those aunties are good to me :-) I've realised that one of the auntie had mix up her assigned tables, and helped me by serving beer to my guests. Haha.

I really don't understand why most people who attend for dinner would always waste their food.

Don't they know that people in the poor countries don't even have food to eat?

Let say a plate of abalone with asparagus, they would just eat the abalone and leave the asparagus on the plate.

Hey, asparagus is also consider good food okay? Not just abalone.

---

I was lucky enough to be in a team of 4to4, with Nadhirah also~!

But I seriously hated one of the guest who is so fucking irritating can?

Okay, so it involves 3 people in the table, 2females & 1guy.

I was having this problem with one of the female.

Let's name them okay?

Female1: Miss Problematic In Blue

Female2: Miss Gentle Woman With Loss Of Memory

Male: Mr Man In Black

Alright, so I am going around to serve the chinese tea since they'd just arrived to the table and I pour Miss Problematic In Blue then to Mr Man In Black. (*I'm not sure if both are couples, but they seem rather flirty with each other.)

This Mr Man In Black was seated down, and I was serving tea while standing up, of course! His elbow almost hit my BYEBYE (vagina*) area, so of course I jerk/move away, right? That's normal human's reaction, am I right? So I am not at any fault! &He was the one who knocked against my pot of chinese tea causing it to have one tiny drip of tea on his back.

YET! He screamed like I've kicked him in his balls.

However, I was damn polite and apologised first before knowing what had happened.

Then this fucking KPO lady, Miss Problematic In Blue, said "Yes, I think you'd just did." &gave me that fucking attitude.

Next, if you've been to dinner, you should know they serve F&N orange, and beer as beverages and others. So, Miss Gentle Women With Loss Of Memory had a cup that we use to contain Beer, but the colour of the liquid does not look like it's beer.

So again, I asked nicely if what drink is in her cup as I would like to fill it up for her.

BUT AGAIN! This fucking damn KPO lady (Miss Problematic In Blue) answered for her, when the lady I asked was still thinking what she was drinking.

I mean I am not asking for your opinion nor was I talking to you right? Why must you take your shitty attitude out to some polite staff who is just trying to serve you like a maid? Fuck you sia.

If I am able to do whatever I want, I would have gave her tight slaps until her face turns out to be like a monkey's butt.

I am there to serve you and not to be there to be treated like a venting anger machine for you seh!

Not only that, when I was clearing the plates for her table and it was her turn, she just fucking ignore me and keep talking to her friend. Since she ignore me, so I just kept standing down there because I'd already said, "Excuse me, MISS." for like 10 times.

FOR REAL, OKAY?!

Even the guy beside her, heard me.

This lady, wait for your retribution.

But I've to admit, I poorly served her after what happened for the rest of the night. I was damn polite to the other 9guest on her table, except for her.

When I needed to serve her, I just 'piak' it onto her showplate and I don't even bother to say "Excuse me," since she's not interested when I was politely serving her.

I even gave her the least portion I can find at my side station.

So people, if I happen to be your server for the day, just be nice to me, and reciprocating, I'll be damn nice and polite to you as well. Don't worry about getting the least portion too.

&Then I realised, these are all the Singaporeans. Who just thinks highly almighty of themselves.

They are not grateful to people who need to serve them and stand for 5 long hours without eating nor drinking or going to the toilet because of them, and the pay of ours, are that low that we will need to save at least 7years to buy a branded bag.

At least when they serve you food, or fill your drinks, say thank you la!

It's not as hard as licking your own elbow right?!

You wouldn't die if you thank people like them also, plus a thank-you does not cost you any money too, right?!

People are just not grateful and thankful about their lives, compared to others.

At least I know, people in China or Taiwan are more polite than us.

Damn disappointing.

What kind of manners they've been taught?

---

I've been working like mad crazy these 3days. Especially today.

Can you believe how I survived tonight with such no-mannered lady, and scalding myself with the fucking hot chinese tea whenever people knocked onto my pot of tea?

My legs have these ugly burns which are red-patched.

Damn fucking ugly can?

And what else? I've this huge bruise at my kneecap (bone area), it's about the size of a can of drink, either the bottom or the top!

I didn't even know it was there until today...

I'm not going back tomorrow.

I should stay at home and rest for now.

---

FML.

I had the toughest day, but at least I fucking learnt something about Singaporeans, again.

Miss Problematic In Blue, is a very good model for what I am talking about. She is equivalent to that hairy indian molester.

It also teaches me not be a KPO when people is asking others and not you, as this will cause the people to hate you ttm.

I HATE THESE ASSHOLES, GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

And, I will be very grateful.

Banquet Day1

BANQUET-ING

Tiring

Remember I said I really dislike working under banquet? After working at another hotel as banquet today, I still dislike the job in Banquet, but I prefer this hotel to the other hotel.
At least we do not need to pay any money for the name tag from this hotel.
$10 per name tag is really not worth it, although we can get it back if we return the tag.

It is really fucking tiring and my legs felt as if elephants or dinosaurs are sitting on my legs &feet.
Unbelievable.
However, another reason why I prefer this hotel is because the staff working there are super nice to me! :D
REALLY!

From the manager, to the in-charge, to the bartender, to the banquet crew, and then to the kitchen cleaners...
This is the first time working at hotel and I felt really welcomed.
The coach, Robert in my group is very nice to me also. He taught me a lot of things and because of him, I had a lot of fun and need not do those tough jobs.
Not forgetting the partner, Suhaiman was nice to me too. At least he didn't ostracize me like how the others did at the other hotel, just because I'm Singaporean, and they are NOT!
Seriously lor, this is my country eh! :(

The bartenders are nice to me partly because I seem to be the only one who keeps taking drinks from them for the guests, and Robert who is my coach for today.
They were even nice to me to the extent where they helped me to open the door to the ballroom when I complained that the door is fucking heavy.
*I didn't really say 'fucking' to them, but seriously, the door is fucking heavy.
I mean it! I was having troubles opening the door when my tray are full of cups filled with beer or soft drinks :(

I am not sure if I will go back work tomorrow or not, but I shall see how first.
Of course, I won't be in a group with Robert or Suhaiman....

But.. Can you even imagine after standing straight for hours without sitting down, and still need to chiong (rush) for the last train?
I consider myself pretty lucky today. Phew.

Oh and I cut my hair today, it's shorter a bit, and thiner..
So, it's like no difference. Lol.

Alright, I think I need to sleep now.
If not I couldn't wake up on time tomorrow, for work. I guess.
SEE YOU SOON!♥